Saturday, 12 November 2011

Trapped By My Computer and Rescued By Rosemary

Good Morning everyone,

I think my computer is taking over my life.  There are so many things I need to do and they all relate to my computer.  I am half way through scanning all my photo albums into the computer  and I still have lots of Mum and Dad's old photo albums and to do.  I've finished about 136 boxes of my slides, and Ron's slides, Ron' Mum's slides, and my Mum and Dad's slides, but there are still lots more to go.   I have a Mac and IPhoto is now hissing and groaning at me everytime I open it up. 

My computer was getting so full it developed indigestion so I had to get an external 2 terrabyte (terry bites or whatever they are) drive to handle all the photos and stuff on my computer.  It had started behaving like me - moving very slowly and forgetting and losing things.  Then there's emails, facebook and maintaining my website.  There's also my Artfire, Zibbet, ETSY and Madeit websites, Art stuff to do, Twitter and my blog, and I'm putting my poetry on to disc and I want to do an E-book.  Now someone wants me to go and Stumble.  Crumbs, I'm already stumbling enough as it is - I don't know if I want to do any more (I'm not even sure what stumbling is - the only sort I know usually results in something getting bruised or broken!).

My best friend Rosemary rang me yesterday at about 1.45 pm and I suddenly realized that I was still sitting at my computer and hadn't yet had my breakfast.  I had sat down in front of the darned thing at 7.00am to catch up on a few emails and finish some work I had to do  (is it in Korea or somewhere where people have died from malnutrition or something while sitting at their computers?).  Anyway, next thing you know, I'm still sitting there in my not so stylish night attire, unkempt and unwashed with my hair looking like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards.  Rosemary, after her initial "Oh my God, aren't you hungry?"   proceeded to say the words that no art/craft minded person can ignore, "Hi Heatherbelle, I'm going up to Spotlight - want to come? I'll pick you up in half an hour."

"Oooo, yes please, great.  OK" I said "no worries - see you in half an hour".   EEeek - only half an hour!!!!   I think I seriously broke the world speed record in every way possible.  In half an hour I managed to fly in and out of the shower,  apply ointment to various parts of my anatomy (bloody hives!) -  scoff down my breakfast and assorted vitamin pills (to keep me healthy), blood pressure tablets (to keep me alive),  antihistamines (to stop me scratching), antihistamines (to stop me sneezing), tear out to the back yard to give Archie his breakfast (my galah), quickly squirt water on some wilting silverbeet, pot plants and assorted other plants in the back yard (for the chooks), feed and apologize to the cat (who was not impressed that it was 1.45 and she hadn't had her breakfast),  feed the chooks (and all their other freeloading feathered friends that frequent the yard), dash to the front garden to water the purple carrots (purple - how cool is that!) and silver beet (also for the chooks), fill up the bird baths, throw some clothes into the washing machine and go to the loo (where I managed to sit and relax for about 30 seconds before Rosemary was due to arrive).    All without having a coronary (gasp).

So my friend Rosemary and I strolled around Spotlight rummaging through bolts of fabric trying to choose which ones would, when sewn into summer  Kaftans, make us look interesting, sexy, arty and fashionable as opposed to a pair of aging hippies or mutton dressed as lamb (or in my case some sort of weird waddling  elephant wearing a tent).  Rosemary is very clever and knows which end of a sewing machine is which, whereas I have to resort to the instruction book each time I want to thread a new colour on the needle.  We both, gravitated to some gorgeous (and very colourful) stunning fabrics which naturally came with a price tag of $29.95 per metre (gasp!).  As full length Kaftans require over 3 metres of fabric, we reluctantly left them and proceeded to search the $4 per metre stack of rolls (no where near as nice ....sigh....) searching and rummaging and in my case, repeatedly pulling my shoulder bag back up onto my shoulder.

I swear that every single time I leaned forward to look at something it slid down and ended up at my elbow.     When I was younger that never happened, my bag stayed firmly on my shoulder no matter what, but now it  always slides off, even when I am just walking around  - why is that? Do our shoulders sag as we get older?  Is it that the convenient little strap holding hollows on our once boney shoulders  get filled up with fat and there's no where for the strap to sit (another of life's little mysteries.....)?  Anyway, I got very sick of trying to search one-handed because the other hand was forever trying to hold my bag on my shoulder, so after my bag had fallen down about 80 times I got cheezed off and hung the whole thing over my head and across my chest and proceeded to continue my search looking like an utter and  complete dork.

With hands now free and unencumbered I searched on through hundreds of rolls, totally ignorant as to what all the types of fabric were.  In the end I followed my sewing guru friend's advice and searched for cotton.  As usual her advice was good, and when she pointed out to me that all those lovely, light and sheer fabrics were see through (gad - that would be a scary sight) and would need something else underneath them (which would be hot in summer) and that the nice slippery, shiny ones were synthetic (also too hot in summer) and stretchier, therefore trickier to sew unless you you know what you are doing (drat!)  and that the coolest and easiest option  was good ol' cotton, I followed her advice, secure in the knowledge that I would be cool and comfortable and that no one was gonna see anything they shouldn't see (note to me:  when my figure eventually returns to a more and sylphlike state buy something colourful and outrageously see through).

That's the trouble with having champagne tastes and a beer income, but eventually we both found something we could live with and juggling our handbags, shopping bags and various weighty rolls of fabric we sat down on a seat to wait our turn to be served.  At Spotlight you take a number and the queues are so long sometimes that they have actually provided some seating so you don't collapse from sheer exhaustion under the weight of all that material.   Maybe they put them there too, for the bored males to fall asleep on while they wait (you don't see to many men actually shopping at Spotlight).

Anyway, after we had done Spotlight and Cheap as Chips, we headed for another of life necessities, coffee.  After coffee and then forgetting where we had parked the car in the carpark (another little  senior moment) we drove back to my house with our treasures.  Rosemary, rejuvenated by the recent coffee and chocolate scone,  bade me farewell and departed quickly, eager to get home and cut out patterns and make beautiful clothes.  I hauled my load inside and proceeded to get creative and tissy up (how do you spell tissy - tissie, tissi, tissee? oh well, who cares.....) some prizes for a Xmas raffle at Port Community Arts Centre.   Aahhh,  the joy of messing with scissors that won't cut cellophane properly and the discovery that still, after all these years and all those Christmases,  I'm still singularly inept at tying a decent Xmas bow.

I know that by this time next week Rosemary will have a pile of beautifully sewn Kaftans to swan around in,  and my fabric will still be sitting in a pile atop  my new sewing machine,  collecting dust (one should never hurry these things) or that if I'm not careful the four legged feline that owns me will nest on it and claim it as hers.  Actually, I do want to try and sew the Kaftans sometime soon (like before I die) it is just that I haven't yet read the instruction book for the sewing machine.  There are those like Rosemary and my cousin Dianna and my late Mum, who would not need to read the instruction book,  they would just look at the thing and know instinctively how to use it - I am, sadly, not in their league and one day when I have time (when I'm not on the computer.....) I will peruse the thing and create a nice Kaftan with probably slightly crooked seams.  

If I didn't have a headache and felt even slightly creative I could probably do it now, but first I'd have to clear the table, but before that I'd need to try and clear a path to the table, but that would mean I'd have to try and find a place to put the stuff that's on the table and the the stuff blocking the path to the table,  which means I'd have to move it to the spare room, which would mean I'd have to try and move the stuff blocking the door so I could get into the spare room, which would, not going to happen today -  I'm exhausted just thinking about it - I think I'll just finish this blog and check my emails and facebook....maybe have a coffee.....perhaps a little lie down.....


PS  - I was doing the raffle prizes because Port Community Arts Centre Inc. is having a Xmas Market at the Black Diamond Gallery, 66 Commercial Street, Port Adelaide South Australia on Saturday 20th November at  4.00p- 9.00 pm and on Sunday 20th 10.00am - 4.00pm.  So if you are in the area pop in and see me (and buy a raffle ticket or two).   I will be selling some of my DinamikTiDi tie dye stuff there and there will be lots of other arts and crafts on offer. 

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